Your Past

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Sometimes I feel like you think you know what you want but when it comes down to it you don't seem to really want it anymore. I feel adolescence is a crucial time period in one's life. It shapes and molds who you are going to be for the rest of your life. I have been struggling with my thoughts of someone and their relationship to my life lately. As I will continue to learn, people come in and out of your life frequently. It is always sad but then all of a sudden there is someone new there to fill the void. When I find myself thinking about past relationships a huge part of me wants to do everything I can to get that relationship rekindled. I think about all of the fond memories I had with that person and I instantly am reminded of how I felt during that time. Normally, that person I am thinking of was very special to me and made me feel happy. However, how far should I be willing to go for the past? I am continued to be faced with tough lessons and the only reason I can think of as to why I am continually faced with this is that I need to learn something I am not grasping. I need to learn to let go. I need to learn that I am extremely happy with who I am and where my life is. I am in a school I love, I am babysitting constantly with children I adore, I am surrounded by people who love me, and I am confident in myself. I like who I am. I need to realize that if seeking a past relationship jeopardizes any of that then it is simply NOT worth it. When you can maintain your dignity above all else I believe you have really gotten far in life. Learning to let go and look forward is something that is easier said than done. There will always be that song or picture that triggers thoughts of a past relationship but you need to learn that your true friends will never leave you to begin with and if you have to fight for someone then that someone is not good for you. That someone is toxic to all that you have achieved. I am finally grasping that the past is what it is, the past. I believe that if you can say with complete confidence that you love who you are than no one on this earth is worth your pain or your time. My advice to all of you is, DON'T chase the past anymore. There is a reason that people are pulled out of your life and the reason, although you may not know what it is, is saving your life. So when you see that picture turn it around or when you hear that song shut off the radio. They do not deserve a mere second more of your precious time and your precious life.