Sometimes Death Seems Like a Breath of Fresh Air

I wrote this letter to myself the other day and I wanted to share it with you.

   Sometimes death seems like a breath of fresh air. You reach the point where living seems simply exhausting. All the reasons in the world will not change your mind. You see, all the reasons in the word back up the choice to not go on. When I was young I was a happy spirit. Smiley, playful, adventurous, and full of energy. I felt like the whole world was at my fingertips. I had ambition. I had hope. Now the whole world couldn't seem harder to grasp. 

   I remember when it changed. I was 13 years old, in seventh grade. One day things just didn't seem so happy anymore. That was when I knew I'd lost it. I'd lost childhood. I would look back on the past and soak up the memories and then I would come back to the harsh cold reality. It was as if my mind wasn't protecting me anymore and it was time for me to protect my mind. 

   When you are a child you have a pair of glasses that have a tint of color. The world through those glasses is sunny and bright. The sky is the deepest shade of blue and the sun shines. Then suddenly you become a teenager and your glasses change to a new permanent pair. Through your new glasses you see the truth. No more colored tint. No more imagination. When you reach the point of no return you wonder if it is really worth living? Dying seems so much easier and so much more peaceful. What do you have to live FOR? That is the question you constantly ask yourself. When it seems the answer to that question is nothing…the truth is something. People who love you. People who truly love you. You would be hurting them in the worst possible way that you could. Yourself. Although you do not have your old pair of glasses you do have something brand new. the ability to truly feel. raw emotion while mostly bad can make the long wait to happiness all the more wonderful when you finally achieve it. Sometimes death seems like a breath of fresh air. However, one day you will experience a real breath of fresh air and trust me, that is all the worth waiting for.

Cancer Slideshow

Hi Everyone! I made this slideshow for my mom the other day and I wanted to share it with you all. The pictures are from when I was going through my treatment for cancer. The ball cap I wore in many photos had a false ponytail attached. There was a time when all of this might as well hadn't of happened because I was so reserved from talking about it but things have changed. I am proud of who I am and have been and there is no shame in going through cancer. It makes me stronger today because of me and as hard as it may sound I would not take i back. Anyway, here is the video with "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack.

My Maternal Side of Family

I would like everyone to check out the new photo above of my maternal side of the family. Pictured from left to right back row is my sister Laura, my aunt Jenny, my uncle Bobby, his girlfriend Kelly, and my dad. Front row is myself, my mom, and my grandmother JJ. This picture was taken at a theater performance of mine at Dallas Childrens Theater. I love you JJ!

About Me

check out my new "about me" page!

Unitarian Universalism

Is there a God? I know this is heatedly debated among many. Is there a God at all? Are there Gods? Goddesses? Or maybe you worship mother nature? Regardless of our beliefs I think most of us can agree on one thing. Religion is a way of understanding where we came from and where we should be going. It is a way of morally guiding us. It is an outline to stay within. When one goes outside of the lines they are so called "sinning." To be honest I don't know what I believe exactly but the concept makes sense. That is why I am a Unitarian Universalist. Us UUs are free to believe whatever we desire but share a main concept. We do not have a creed and follow the bible like most religions but instead we base our religion around a set of seven principles.

We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association covenant to affirm and promote

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person
• Justice, equity and compassion in human relations
• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations
• A free and responsible search for truth and meaning
• The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large
• The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all
• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part

Our seven principles are just a small reason why I am proud to call myself a Unitarian Universalist. I also am extremely proud that we are an official welcoming congregation open to all LGBTQ individuals. We do not condemn. We love our neighbors.  We are open to any and all beliefs. That is why I am honored to say that I am a UU. What are you?