I felt happy the other day for the first time in four years. Truly and honestly happy. I was smiling and could not stop. I was talking a million words a minute as my dad sat there listening to each and every one. I have started seeing a new psychiatrist and he put me on a new miracle drug. It is not in an antidepressant class so it started working pretty fast. Sadly, something came up later that day that made me tearful but that is okay. I cannot and will not let that bother me. I am happy and there is no one who will stand in the way of that. If I feel that they will, I will remove myself from the situation or prevent it from happening in the first place. I admit I have to be a bit selfish. However, every therapist, psychologist, counselor, social worker and psychiatrist have told me that I need to be. I am my first and only priority. My happiness is crucial, especially when I am trekking out of my treatment resistant depression. Relapse can happen easily right now and I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. This is my advice to everyone who finds happiness even just for a second. I admit I am not as euphorically happy as I was the first half of that day but I am slowly coming out of my depression and that is something I never thought I would see. Happiness will come to you one day, the day you least expect it, and when it does...all I can say is enjoy the beautiful blue sky that you didn't even realize was there.